


Nostos and Ambrosia

by Cerylia



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-01-20 05:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1498651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerylia/pseuds/Cerylia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Revan recognizes that it would have been very easy for the Council to kill her. With this in the back of her mind, killing Malak doesn't make sense. Follows Revan and the Exile from the end of KOTOR I to well after the events of KOTOR II.  Revanasi, past Revan/Malak, Atton/f!Exile, Bastila/OC, mentions of Dustil/Mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Nostos--Greek, homecoming, including the idea of returning home after being away for a long time
> 
> Alternate Title: I don't deal with certain character deaths well, and this is my head canon. Bioware can suck it. 
> 
> Also, sorry the prologue is OC-centric, but Talin is important to the story so you kinda have to deal with him. I would consider it a "moderately important" character death and some minor character death, but I don't want those death to be a complete surprise and not flagged.

Darth Revan’s Starship

Bastila and Talin were the first two Jedi of the boarding party.  
Fifteen other Jedi followed, all select, skilled, elite. As Bastila and Talin repelled the initial attack, the rest of the Jedi began filing out, to start the conquest of the ship.  
Talin and Bastila remained at their shuttle.  
“The trap is set. She will show herself,” Bastila said.  
“Do you think we can talk her down?” Talin asked.  
Her silence was not the answer Talin wanted.  
After a second, Talin felt a wave of strength wash over him. Bastila had started her Battle Meditation. “Be careful,” she said, starting to make her way through the ship. Talin ran ahead. After all, he knew the ship better than Bastila did.  
Darth Revan had a small flagship. It was always something Talin had noticed about her—she preferred the simple, most practical rather than the elaborate. When it came to transportation and ships.  
There was little resistance, at least for Talin and Bastila. While some of their Jedi compatriots had fallen, Darth Revan seemed to have had isolated herself enough, so she had apparently had a very small number of Sith with her. Whether it was a result of simplicity or paranoia, Talin didn’t know. But it worked in their favor, anyway. Many of the Jedi remained standing.  
They found Revan at the bridge. Four officers and two Sith were fighting five Jedi when Talin and Bastila approached.  
Darth Revan’s mask made it difficult for them to know if she recognized them, or, rather, if she cared. As they pulled out their light sabers, she turned around to face them, her deep purple saber at the ready.  
“Stand down!” Bastila yelled. Talin shook his head—that would make it only worse.  
Darth Revan charged, uncharacteristic of her before the fall. Talin immediately leapt to Bastila’s defense, feeling his light saber meet hers with great power. He flipped his blue double-edged light saber around, trying to knock her off balance, but she caught him easily.  
They felt a blaster cannon strike the ship. Everything shook, and Revan looked out, confused.  
Talin took his chance to attack, but Revan still managed to block him.  
Think, Tal, how can you catch her unprepared? He asked himself.  
Talin brought his light saber up, as if he was planning to strike up and through her head. When she blocked, he shifted his weight and tackled her. The trick had worked since childhood.  
“Is this what you want, Revan? Is this why you went against the Mandalorians, to destroy the Republic yourself? Answer me, damn it!” he yelled. With his free hand, he ripped her mask off, daring to stare into her eyes. Empty. Irisless. No hint of the grey she had in her life in the light side. She stopped struggling against him for just a moment.  
Then, she tried to fight back once more, but she certainly didn’t have the superior strength. And she was so exhausted from using the Force for so long. It was only through her own power that any of the Sith had remained standing.  
But she took her chance, attacking his head, though she only managed a glancing blow, above and below his eye, not actually damaging it.  
He yelled in pain, and his blood dripped onto her face. He could feel Bastila’s Battle Meditation working through him—his eye was saved, through her, he knew. Perhaps even his life.  
“What the hell, Rev? This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Just…say something, anything!” he yelled.  
“He’s going to win,” she whispered. Talin could feel the fear in her voice.  
“What—” he started.  
She used force push against him, using to the last tiny bit of Force power she commanded to shove him into Bastila. She stood.  
“I can’t believe he betrayed me,” she said, only just a little louder. “He’ll destroy everything I worked to preserve.”  
That was when Talin understood. The blaster cannons firing on the ship weren’t the Jedi—they weren’t firing on the ship that they were hoping to capture Revan from.  
It was Malak, usurping the title of Dark Lord.  
A blaster cannon went right through the bridge, and Revan turned to face it. It blew just inches in front of her. She had blocked Talin and Bastila, expecting to pay the highest possible cost.  
“Revan!” Talin yelled, scrambling to meet her mutilated body. “No, fuck,” he said, falling to his knees in defeat. Bastila wasn’t far behind him.  
“Come on, Talin, we must get out of here while we have the chance,” one of the surviving Jedi yelled. Talin stood, his mouth open and eyes wide. Without Revan distracting him, he felt scorching pain over his eyes. He couldn’t see out of it at all, but it still wasn’t one of his highest priorities. The other Jedi grabbed him, half-dragging him towards the exit.  
“I have her!” Bastila said. She was crouched over Revan, using all of the Force at her command to cradle Revan’s soul and conscious, keeping the young woman alive.  
“She alright?” Talin asked in disbelief.  
“Yes,” Bastila answered through heavy breaths.  
“Then let’s get out of here before Malak blows us all up,” Talin said, pulling Revan into a fireman’s carry and leading the remaining Jedi into the ship they came on. He covered his eye with his free hand.  
Bastila collapsed onto the floor the second she was on the ship. Talin lay Revan’s broken body on a nearby seat, as the boarding shuttle was small and a medcenter would have to wait until they reached a warship. Talin turned back towards Bastila, helping her up and leading her to sit down.  
“You did good,” Talin said. Bastila was still breathing hard, her eyes fighting to remain open, and she had to lean against Talin to stay upright. When she didn’t reply, Talin brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face. “Thanks,” he said.  
“She might never be the same, you know,” Bastila said quietly, finally conceding to closing her eyes.  
Talin glanced over at Revan. She was on his other side, dark liquid pooling on her black robes. Her face was obscured by her hood, for which Talin was thankful. Even better, he could watch her chest move up and down. He grabbed her arm, moving so he could hold the Dark Lord’s hand. He doubted she was even remotely conscious, but if she was, the least he could do was comfort her.  
“She’s alive, isn’t she?”  
“Mmhmm.”  
“That’s all I need.”  
“The Council might not be merciful.”  
Talin thought for a few seconds before he found the words to reply. He had been so certain that he could talk Revan down, it had not occurred to him that they might bring Revan back unwillingly. “They were to me.”  
His response was lost to Bastila, however. She had already fallen asleep.

 

The Endar Spire

The Endar Spire was under attack, and Gwen was not about to let her bunkmate, a man named Trask, attack that Dark Jedi alone. She was certain that Trask would fall without her help. Just as she started to follow behind him, someone pushed her ahead, towards the escape pods.  
He had a distinctive military look—a short buzz cut, fairly tall and muscular. His hair was probably light brown, but with such a short style, she couldn’t quite tell. But his most striking feature was his eyes. His right eye, more precisely—a thin scar ran across it, though he didn’t appear to be blinded by whatever gave him such an injury.  
“Move it, sister!” the man yelled. She didn’t continue running after him.  
“But he’ll die!” she said back.  
He sighed, exasperated, as he stopped and turned to face her. “Yeah, well we’ll all die if we don’t get off this ship, now,” he said.  
She still didn’t move, still judging whether or not she could still save Trask…  
“Just, come on already!” he yelled.  
Gwen stiffened, then nodded, and started running, blaster in hand. The man looked relieved and followed after her.  
Only a few more enemies blocked their way. Gwen held back, firing her blaster somewhat shakily. She was a scout, after all. It was her job to explore planets, not fight trained soldiers. In the back of her mind, she was confident that she could take on all these enemies, but she was still grateful Talin was there. He seemed to be a seasoned soldier, and his vibroblade made quick work of the attackers.  
When they met Onasi, the scarred man insisted that Gwen enter the escape pod first. She did so, but mostly to shut him up. He followed quickly after, taking the seat next to her. Onasi was on before the others were even strapped in, using the com panel release the pod into space.  
“You’re Hobaast, right?” Onasi asked the other man.  
He nodded. “Yeah, Talin Hobaast.”  
Gwen turned to face him as the pod began the descent onto Taris. “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself before, I’m Gwen Ketra.”  
Talin bit his lip for a second before he spoke. “Yeah, nice to meet you,” he finally said. Gwen looked confused slightly, but she didn’t have enough time to comment. After all, the landing onto Taris was not exactly a pleasant one.

 

Dantooine  
After meeting with the Council at Dantooine, Mission managed to convince Bastila to give the crew a tour of the Jedi compound. After all, they would be there for a while. A few weeks, at the very least, and that was assuming that Gwen picked up the skills related to being a Jedi with incredible speed.  
The training grounds were where the trouble began. Someone waved and yelled, “Hey, Tal!” at them.  
Talin waved back. “I served with his dad in the Mandalorian Wars,” Talin explained in a low undertone afterwards. Bastila shot that particular Jedi a dirty look.  
Still, the serious issue didn’t begin until a few minutes later. A droid was firing at a young boy with a practice lightsaber. The boy was supposed to not only deflect the beams but ideally with enough aim to not harm anyone.  
“Watch out!” he called at the last second, as a potentially deadly blaster fire ricocheted towards the group.  
Talin didn’t even think; he simply held his hand up, and the beam deflected back at the droid.  
“Shit,” he said as the droid exploded.  
“Are you an idiot?” Bastila asked at the same time.  
“Did you just use the Force?” Gwen asked.  
“Another Jedi, seriously?” Carth asked.  
Talin was annoyed but not overly shaken. “I told you I was sick of this, Bastila.”  
“You are infuriating!” Bastila yelled, stomping away. “I have to go talk to the Council, again!”  
“Uhh…I guess I can finish the tour. Bastila wasn’t telling any of the good stories, anyway.”  
“So you are a Jedi?” Gwen asked.  
“We should probably just wait for the Council to discuss this,” Talin said.  
“That’s a yes,” Carth answered.  
“Wait, there are plenty of times on Taris we could have used a Jedi,” Canderous said.  
“Yeah, I know. Every time I got hit by a blaster, I had to stop myself from deflecting it. This sucked for me, too,” Talin said.  
“If you are a Jedi, then what were you doing on the Endar Spire?” Gwen asked, still confused.  
“Well, see, the Sith tend to notice when Jedi travel in large groups. So, sometimes, I’ll go with Bastila, but instead of using a lightsaber and playing Jedi, I just pretend I’m another soldier. It attracts way less attention,” Talin explained.  
“But there were other Jedi with Bastila,” Carth said.  
“Yeah, but I was the extra security,” Talin said. “Anyway, my sister, Inyri, always thought it was more fun to go undercover. Decided to try it out.”  
“I thought Jedi didn’t have families,” Carth said.  
“Inyri and I were recruited together, with one of our friends,” Talin explained. “Here, I have a picture,” he said, passing around a datapad. When it came to Gwen, she glanced at it curiously. Inyri looked to be about sixteen in the picture, somewhat short with sorrel skin and mahogany hair. Her smile reached her deep brown eyes, which were accentuated by the fact that she wore a plain off-white tunic rather than Jedi robes. At either side of her belt loop hung a single-bladed lightsaber.  
Everyone else seemed to accept it. Mission started asking questions related to his training, but Gwen just looked pensive.  
“What’s up?” Carth asked, falling behind the group to talk to her.  
“You’re rubbing off on me,” Gwen said.  
“Oh?”  
“It’s…that doesn’t make sense. If you were going to have entourage of Jedi undercover, why would you just have one? Why shouldn’t have everyone, except Bastila, pretend to be to a Republic soldier? Talin is right; fewer Jedi would attract less attention. ”  
“That would make more sense.”  
“Exactly. Unless…there’s something they aren’t telling us,” Gwen said.  
“See, not trusting is in your nature, too,” Carth said.  
“No, that’s just you. I just like things to make sense,” Gwen replied.  
Carth laughed, and they changed the subject.


	2. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it's not too fluffy

She was bloody and bruised, but that didn’t stop Bastila and Talin from following her into her room after they had just barely escaped the Star Forge.  
Gwen glanced over at them as she started to pull off her new robes. She didn’t particularly care about the intrusion, however, merely shrugging off the outermost layer. She should have known that the two Jedi sent on this mission would confront her. And she supposed they wouldn’t agree with her decision to heal Malak the best she could, then throw him over her shoulder and carry him to the Ebon Hawk.  
“I know what you want,” she said quietly. “And you aren’t changing anything.”  
“Have you lost your fucking mind? Because I’ll help you find it,” Talin roared at her. Bastila shut the door behind him with a glare.  
“What…Talin means to say is, are you sure that was a good idea?” said Bastila.  
“You know what he’s done? He’s committed genocide. He’s killed millions of people. For nothing. He tortured me, Carth, and you and Bastila especially. Do you remember the part where he had Carth shocked so you would talk?” Talin said.  
“He is nothing but trouble. I don’t know if we will ever be able to redeem him. He has so much anger,” Bastila added.  
“You’ve always made great decisions, but every now and then you fuck up. You asked me to tell you when I think you’re wrong, and I think you’re wrong. He’s a terrible person, Gwen. And unless you plan on sleeping with him until he agrees with you…” said Talin.  
“Talin!” Gwen was rather thankful for Bastila’s interruption.  
“What, it’s probably the only way he’ll come back! What’s Carth thinking, right now, do you know? Because I bet he’s pissed. Malak murdered his family, his homeworld.”  
“He is a great threat. Jedi always take prisoners and never execute them. But you may be better off not providing proper medical care. Both for your and his sake,” Bastila said.  
“You know what he’s going to do, when he finds out you and Carth are an actual thing now? Shit, this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done,” Talin said.  
“Malak has made no signs of repentance. He has done nothing to suggest that he would want to return to the light, no statement of regret. He feeds on power, desires it more than anything. Anything left of his light is gone. He proved that when he fired on your ship,” said Bastila.  
“Come on, say something!” Talin demanded.  
Gwen had been silent throughout, listening to their rants, Bastila’s far more calm and collected than Talin’s anger littered with curses. It was funny, she mused. For all Talin’s anger, his passion, he still showed no inclination of falling to the dark side. Perhaps there was something beyond the Jedi code after all…she would have to meditate on it. Hopefully it would ease her mind about Carth, as well.  
“Please, say something, anything,” Bastila said. “Why would you have thought that was a good idea?” she asked.  
Gwen sighed, pulling her out down and out of the ponytail it had been in for far too long.  
“You never gave up on me. I didn’t feel like I had the right to give up on anyone else, no matter his sins,” she said calmly, directed towards Talin. His face dropped.  
“I…” Talin said.   
She pursed her lips, considering. “I just wanted to give someone else the chance that you both gave me. Redemption, new life, both of you, Carth. I wouldn’t have any of it, if not for you two. I thought I could do it for another. And he…looked so…I couldn’t just leave him, just as I couldn’t leave you.”  
Bastila’s mouth was still agape. “We will kill him, if he tries to harm any of the crew.”  
“I assumed as much.”  
Talin sighed again. “Alright. Canderous needs to check Bastila out. She’s got more than a few scrapes. Come on. And Gwen, get some kolto on yourself, alright?”  
“Good night,”  
“Wait—are Carth and Gwen are actually…?” Bastila started as Talin led her out.  
“I’ll explain in the med center.”  
Gwen was blushing as she lay in bed, her full fatigue hitting her hard, and she fell asleep before she could complete her thought about Bastila’s redemption.   
She vaguely heard the door close a few hours later, and she immediately reached out to see who was there.  
“Carth,” she called out quietly, hoping he would hear her, feel her consciousness touch his.  
The door opened again, so even though she had yet to open her eyes, she knew he had returned.  
“I’m going to let you sleep, Gwen.”  
“I am awake.”  
“No, you aren’t,” he said with a chuckle.  
“I am too. Stay.”  
He sighed, sitting down next to her head. She moved slightly, so his lap became her pillow.  
“I love you,” she murmured, as she made herself comfortable.  
“I know,” he said with a smirk, brushing some hair off the side of her face.  
“Good. Talin was worried that…”  
“Bastila explained your reasoning. I trust you.”  
“Thank you.”  
“But…do you really think this is a good idea? Or do you just think it’s the right thing to do?”  
She sighed, burying her head into his lap again.   
“I’m….not sure. I don’t think it is a bad idea,” she offered. She yawned quietly. “This is why you should be a Jedi,” she said.  
“Why, because I ask hard questions?”  
“You just….know. Who to trust. Where it is safe. Doubts.”  
“So you do doubt yourself on this?”  
She smirked. “I doubt everything I do.”  
“That sounds terrible.”  
“I was told everything I thought about myself was a lie.”  
“You don’t doubt me, do you?”  
“Never.”  
“I suppose that’s good enough. Really, get some rest, Gwen.”  
“Only if you do.”  
“I will, too, I promise. I’m going to stand up now, alright?”  
She made a noise of protest, something like a groan mixed with a sigh. He chuckled, standing but leaning down to give her a peck on her forehead.  
“Goodnight, Gwen. I’ll see you in the morning, gorgeous.”  
“Can’t wait, greatest and most handsome pilot in the galaxy.”  
He smirked and caressed her cheek, before leaving her to her dreams. They were quiet, for the first time she could remember.

 

When Bastila told her that they were going to Coruscant after leaving the Star Forge, Gwen was less than happy.  
“Really? Couldn’t we just return to…I don’t know, Dantooine?” Gwen asked.  
“There is nothing left to return to on Dantooine,” Bastila said quietly. Talin exchanged glances with Gwen, and both decided not to comment on that matter. Better to not bring up her memories of the Dark Side, Gwen thought.  
“In any case, the High Council probably wants to see you. Just a thought,” Talin said. She nodded.  
“How long will it be? Malak—”  
“Don’t worry about him,” Talin interrupted. “But it’ll be a few days, probably.”  
The journey to Coruscant was nothing at all, compared to the hopping around the galaxy the Ebon Hawk had endured the last few months. It was blissfully short, just two standard days. Gwen was thankful—Malak’s condition was not improving, and while she could keep him breathing, he would certainly require actual medical attention.   
As she meditated on the situation, Gwen realized that it was unlikely that anyone else on the ship shared her concern for his health. And that bothered her, since it at least the Jedi should. Still, Gwen’s conversation with Carth forced her to examine her reasons for saving him. After all, she truly had jeopardized them. She was slowed returning to the Ebon Hawk, because she had to carry him out. It must have been the Force that allowed the Star Forge to stand long enough to escape, considering the damage to the space station. And if Malak woke up, and he was not on the path to redemption? He would be a threat, and who knew how many people he would harm again. It could be Talin, or Bastila, or Mission, or Carth.   
Still, what was she supposed to do, let him die? Bastila could have easily done the same for her, but instead granted the gift of life. Darker thoughts whispered around her mind, though, too. Perhaps there was another reason she had saved him, other than that it was the right thing to do. Perhaps it was in honor of their past friendship, and it was merely nepotism. Gwen shook the thought out of her head. She couldn’t even remember him at all.  
In any case, the reason she saved him would hardly matter, now that the act was done. For now, it was a wait-and-see situation. Gwen hated those. She sighed and stood, ending her meditation. She left the engine room, wanting to check on their progress. It had nothing to do with the fact that Carth was in the cockpit, as well. At least, that’s what she told herself.  
“Where are we landing?” Gwen asked. Her hand laid gently on his shoulder, about as much contact as they could have while Carth was piloting.  
“The Jedi Temple, actually. A lot of the remaining masters and other Jedi are waiting for you all there,” he replied.  
He could feel her hand stiffen. She was still very nervous around Jedi, especially since she realized that many of the Jedi on Dantooine had probably recognized her and not in a positive way.  
“Don’t worry,” he told her, as they began their descent into the atmosphere. “And go sit down, unless you want to end up on the ground in a minute.”  
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek gently, before returning to the commons of the ship. Everyone else, including Bastila and Talin, still happily reunited and holding hands, were already in their seats.  
Talin grinned at her, which was enough teasing for Gwen to blush as she took the remaining seat and strapped herself in. “Stop that,” she said.  
“Make me,” Talin replied.  
“I will,” Bastila said, kissing his lips, despite their audience.  
“Oh, come on!” said Mission.

 

The landing was flawless, as Gwen had expected from Carth. Although he opened the hangar doors from the cockpit, Gwen waited for Carth in the commons.  
“You can go without me, you know. I can walk out a ship.”  
“I know. I’m just a little nervous.”  
“You’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go. You can get this over with faster, then,” he said. He took her hand, and walked with her out.  
The others were already out of the Ebon Hawk, surrounded by a small crowd, all dressed in Jedi apparel. When Gwen walked out, everyone turned towards her, and she squeezed Carth’s hand.  
It was silent as she walked down with Carth, uncomfortably so. She started chewing on the inside of her lip—a mistake.  
Gwen was suddenly tackled in a bear hug by a dark-skinned human woman with blue Jedi Knight robes.   
“Knew you’d come back,” the woman said.  
Gwen would have replied faster, but she was too concerned about her now bleeding inside lip. And a little too shocked from the sudden attack.  
“Um, hello,” she said after a second, obvious and awkward.  
She felt Carth let go of her hand, and she glared at him. Only a few seconds later did the woman release her.  
The woman smiled at Gwen, and Gwen felt obligated to smile back, even if a little feebly, rather than simply continuing her indifferent.  
“She still doesn’t remember anything, Alcina. Gwen, this is Alcina, she’s a Sentinel and…what, a Knight, right?” Talin yelled.  
“Damn straight!” said Alcina with a grin. Alcina apparently didn’t care how uncomfortable Gwen was. “So, Rev, how ya doin’?” she asked.  
“Uh, fine, thank you. Though, I do prefer being called Gwen. And you?” Gwen replied almost mechanically.  
“Great...Gwen? Seriously, Gwen?” Alcina asked with a huge smile.  
“Yes, it’s what I’ve been going by—”  
“Seriously, that’s the name you guys picked? Gwen Ketra?” Alcina asked Talin in disbelief.  
“I didn’t say Ketra,” Gwen said quietly. Only Carth seemed to hear her, and he shrugged.  
“I thought it was brilliant!” Talin replied.  
Alcina laughed. Gwen didn’t, and Alcina noticed.  
“You…don’t know the significance? I’ll fix that. Anyway, the Counil really wants to see you, so I’ll let you go for now. I think there are plans for some drinks tonight!”  
“Uhh—”  
“No worries, Gwen, I’ll walk you there. Hey Bastila, come on!” Talin said, pulling Gwen away from the rest of the group. Bastila looked annoyed at ending her conversation with one of the Jedi early, but followed anyway.   
“Ugh, I hope they don’t give us a lecture on philosophy,” Talin said as they neared the council chambers.   
And, now that she knew who she was, now that she was no longer in galaxy-threatening danger, that seemed to be all that Gwen needed for memories to trigger.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“That lecture was awful,” the girl next to Revan said. She didn’t look much different than a picture Talin had shown Gwen, of his sister. Inyri was taller than Gwen, even though the other girl was younger. Gwen felt like she was eleven or so in the memory. The other girl’s skin was sorrel, and she had shoulder-length mahogany hair that was tied back.   
“Which one was it?” the boy on Revan’s other side asked. His hair was long and light brown, and he had the stretched appearance of a boy who had grown quite a bit recently but hadn’t quite gained the weight to match.   
It was Talin, it had to be Talin. But Talin hadn’t mentioned that they had been friends from childhood.  
“Ancient Jedi Philosophers,” Inyri said, with mock excitement.   
“That’s a lot of material—what exactly?” Revan asked.  
“Oh that’s all I remember,” Inyri replied cheerfully. Talin laughed, but Revan had to hold back voicing her concerns.  
“Hey, at least we all have lunch together today. Alcina, Timmser, and Xander, even. It’s the whole gang,” Talin said.  
“Actually, I’m sitting with some of my classmates. One of the girls, Bastila, is helping me with etiquette class.”  
“I hated that one. I can’t believe you have to pass that to become an actual initiate.”  
“It makes sense, really. You can’t have a Jedi mouthing off to a Senator,” Revan said.   
“Wait, really?” Talin asked, and Revan rolled her eyes, unsure whether it was dry humor or the truth. Because Revan could easily imagine Talin doing just that.  
They turned the corner into the cafeteria, and Inyri waved at another youngling, a girl her age with pale skin and dark brown hair. Talin and Revan found their friends—the Twi’lek Xander, a red-headed human Timmser, and Alcina, whom Revan barely recognized from earlier that day. They pushed two plates of food towards them, so the two didn’t have to wait in a line.  
Timmser and Xander had just come from combat practice and were laughing at some of their bruises. Alcina’s attention was quickly on Revan.  
“Hey, Rev, you’re ahead of me with Force practice, right? Can you help me learn to push things?” she asked.  
Revan frowned. “Meditate on it. I can’t really describe how to do it.”  
“I hate meditating,” Alcina and Talin said, at the same time.  
“And neither of you can push anything,” Timmser said. Revan was laughing, but Talin was picking up a fork to make a profane gesture.  
“Who’s that?” Alcina asked.  
“I didn’t know we had a new kid,” Talin said, turning towards where Alcina was facing.  
He was tall, taller even than Talin. His hair was black, making his piercing blue eyes stand out. For all his impressive physique, he just looked confused, holding his plate and scanning the tables.  
“Hey!” Revan called, motioning the boy to come here.  
“He’s old. He must be good if they think he can become an initiate and pass the trials,” Timmser noted.  
“He’s probably my age,” Talin said.  
“Yeah, but you’ve been here since you were six,” Xander said. Talin shut up. There was certainly a difference between joining the Jedi at thirteen and six.  
The boy looked relieved when he caught Revan’s eye. He worked his way through the great hall and took the empty seat next to Revan.  
“Thanks,” he said.  
“It’s alright, we were all new once. I’m Revan, by the way,” she said. “This is my brother Talin, and our friends Alcina, Xander, and Timmser.”  
“I’m Alek…Squinquargesimus,” he said. Talin, Alcina, and Xander laughed.  
Revan looked apologetic. “Sorry,” she murmured to him. Talin had started a new conversation with the others about the Jedi Code—something that would exclude Alek from the conversation. Revan was curious as to whether he was doing it on purpose or not.  
“It’s…alright. It’s kinda a new thing, having a last name.”  
“No surnames where you’re from?”  
“Yeah, I’m from Quelii.”   
“Well, if Talin gets too mean, tell him that Hobaast isn’t exactly a great-sounding last name, either.”  
“Hobaast? Your last name is Hobaast?” Alek asked, smirking.  
“No, not mine. I’m not really his sister, we’ve just be friends since I was four. About when I joined the Order, actually.”  
“Wow. I guess I’m about nine years behind you then.”  
“They wouldn’t let you in if they didn’t think you could do it. You must be pretty Force Sensitive to get in so late.”  
“I guess so. Do you know where I can find the etiquette class?” Alek asked.  
“Yeah, Inyri’s going there next,” she said. Inyri was just washing her plate now, and Revan stood with hers, beckoning to Alek to follow.  
Revan grabbed the sink next to Inyri, starting to wash both hers and Alek’s plates. “Hey, Iny, this is Alek, he’s new here. Can you take him to etiquette?”  
“Etiquette? You’re not even an initiate, yet?”  
“Eh, no,” Alek said, shuffling his feet awkwardly.  
“He’s probably on a fast-track,” Revan explained. “Since he’s older and more mature than the rest of you.”  
“I am mature!” Inyri said, drying her plate.  
“Alright. If you can the word ‘butt,’ without laughing, I’ll talk to Master Zhar and ask if you should be on a path for more mature students, as well.”  
Inyri started to retort, started to form the word—and then she realized would, in fact, not be able to say it without dissolving into laughter. Instead, she stuck her tongue out.  
“This way,” she said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When she was drawn out of the memory, in front of the Council chambers, Gwen realized that she didn’t know that Malak wasn’t his real name. And as much as she wanted to meditate—or at least sit down for a half second and breath and take this into account, the Council was waiting. The last thing they needed to see was her breaking down.  
“Are you alright?” Bastila whispered as they waited to enter.  
Gwen nodded.  
“Shitty liar,” Talin muttered, just as the door opened.


	3. The Council on Coruscant

The first thing the Council did was dismiss Talin. She could hear Talin groaning on his way out—something about being left out of the Council meetings, as always. Gwen almost laughed. He was starting to sound like Carth.  
The introductions were short, but none of the Masters actually introduced themselves by name. Master Vrook was present, as well as a few others Gwen didn’t recognize. Vrook was carefully studying both women, and Gwen maintained steady eye contact with him. At least his reservation about admitting her back to the Order, the harshness in which he spoke to her was explained.   
“You have returned, Gwen Ketra,” a Master said.  
“Yes, Master. The Republic, with the help of Bastila and the crew of the Ebon Hawk, has destroyed the Star Forge, as per the Admiral’s report,” Gwen stated, almost mechanically.  
“And Bastila—you fell to Malak, then were redeemed by R—Gwen?” Another asked. Vrook shot him a dirty look. Gwen almost laughed.  
“Masters, you may be interested to know that Malak himself revealed Gwen’s former identity,” Bastila said.  
“Former? As in, you no longer associate with this….identity?” another Master, a Twi’lek woman, asked.  
Gwen desperately wished they had introduced themselves—then this would feel more like a meeting and less like a test.  
“I am not Revan,” Gwen said flatly. “I may have been at one time, but I still have no memory. I would still prefer to go by Gwen Ketra,” she said.  
“But you are Revan,” Vrook said, almost accusingly.  
“Yes, of course, I recognize that, but—”  
“There is no ‘but!’ I have also heard that you have recovered Malak, alive!” Vrook scorned her. Gwen had to stop herself from laughing. Clearly, someone was unable to control his anger.  
Bastila must have felt the emotion through the bond—she caught Gwen’s eye and shook her head.  
“He is in the medbay of the Ebon Hawk. He is still unconscious,” Gwen said.  
“You have given us much to discuss, Revan,” Vrook said.  
“Gwen. Gwen Ketra,” Bastila said, stepping forward slightly. Gwen gave her a small smile.  
“In order to be at peace with events, it may be better to become comfortable with your true identity,” the female Twi’lek said.   
“During your stay at the Jedi Temple, the members of the Jedi Order shall be placed in temporary housing. The rest of your crew, including Jolee Bindo, can be quartered in your ship, or arrange other local housing,” one Master said.  
“In any case,” another, more amicable-looking Master interrupted, “both of you and the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk should be present at the temple courtyard tomorrow morning, nine standard time, to be honored as Saviors of the Galaxy,” she said, with a small smile.  
Gwen’s jaw dropped slightly, but Bastila just smiled, apparently having expected that. “Yes, Masters,” she said.  
“Afterwards, the two of you, as well as Talin Hobaast, should report here. We will speak with Juhani separately. When Malak awakes, he should be sent directly here, as well.”  
“Is it possible to find him more suitable care? The supplies of the Ebon Hawk are limited,” Bastila said. Bastila could feel Gwen’s relief through the bond—she apparently was wondering the same, but didn’t know how to phrase the question properly. Not without implying that she had saved him for other reasons than the sake of life, of the Force.  
The Masters glanced at each other, considering. Finally, Vrook spoke.  
“Medical supplies will be delivered to your ship for his…health.” It seemed the very idea disgusted him.  
“Thank you, Master Vrook,” Gwen said.   
“You are both dismissed.”  
“Of course,” Bastila said. They made polite goodbyes, walking at a very appropriate speed towards the door.  
Except the second they were away from the Council, Gwen smiled, grabbing Bastila in an arm and half-hugging her.  
“We did it. We actually did it,” she said with a smile. Bastila was shocked at the sudden contact, apparently—only after a second did she only very awkwardly pat Gwen’s back.  
“Someone is excited,” Bastila noted. As if she couldn’t feel the energy radiating off Gwen.  
“Can we…not tell the others? It would be a fun surprise to simply show up at the ceremony,” Gwen suggested with a smirk as she let Bastila go, and the two started walking towards the Ebon Hawk.   
“You are awful. Of course we have to tell them, otherwise I won’t be able to have Talin dressed tomorrow morning.”  
Gwen almost made a joke, but decided against it, in favor of claiming the right to tell the others about the ceremony.

 

As much as Gwen had feared returning to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, her stay there had changed her mind. Speaking with some of her old masters, like Zhar, had calmed enough of her fears to feel comfortable there. Even speaking with the Jedi council no longer seemed daunting. Except for Master Vrook, most of the Jedi Council and other Jedi seemed very pleased to see her again. Unfortunately, although she herself had suggested the trip, Bastila still seemed anxious. Even though her fall was not common knowledge, every whisper, every glance at her made Bastila shiver. Gwen knew how to calm her down.  
“What are we doing?” Bastila asked, when Gwen walked out with her one night, away from the Temple and into the city. It was slightly chilly, but not yet cold enough to warrant a jacket or have to worry about snow. Gwen wore her Star Forge robes—they were slightly heavier than her normal blue ones, and they did not particularly stand out. Bastila’s own robes, too, fit much better than the traditional Jedi robes. At least Gwen had a place to conceal her lightsaber, she thought. She generally didn’t like the looks she received in public for carrying one, whether of disgust or awe. Gwen hadn’t realized how much some people had learned to fear Jedi from the wars. No until she had arrived at Coruscant.  
“How do you know we are doing anything? We could just be going for a walk.” Gwen asked cheerfully, waving at the guard at the temple gate as it was opened for them. She turned the corner, using the sidewalk. It was only early evening, but most travelers were using the sky cars, and they didn’t particularly need to worry about other people around.  
“We have a bond! I know we are doing something, I just am not sure what,” Bastila said.  
Gwen chuckled. “True enough. I just thought you might need some time to relax. Without, of course, having to convince Talin that the Jedi Temple is not an appropriate place for—”  
During her time on Korriban, Gwen had learned the hard way the exact depth of their Force Bond, when she had a very intimate dream from Bastila’s view point. At least Bastila thought that, as long as they were further away or one was awake and focused on something else, it wouldn’t reoccur.  
“Yes, yes, I definitely agree,” Bastila said, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence. “Just, be careful with Carth.”  
“We haven’t done anything like that.”  
“I really don’t need to know, I just wanted remind you that, if we’re close—”  
“Oh, believe me, I remember,” Gwen said with a smirk. “I was there when I told you about the dream, if you recall.”  
“I was dying inside when you told me about that! That you had a dream about…about your brother! Oh, I keep forgetting that I’m not supposed to say anything.” That was the basic gist of the meeting following the ceremony—the Jedi Council thought it best that she not be told anything about her own history, that it would be better for her memories to be restored naturally, in order to prevent a rush that may be overwhelming.   
“It’s alright. I actually remembered something the other day, when we came to Coruscant. I called him my brother then,” she said quietly.  
“Really? That’s wonderful.”  
Gwen frowned and glanced away quickly. She started walking again, hoping Bastila hadn’t noticed.  
“It’s alright, you know. You have proven yourself, redeemed yourself, and done far more than any of us could ever even dreamed of,” Bastila said.  
She should have known that Bastila would notice. Between the bond, and the fact that they had spent the last six months in a ship together, it would have been embarrassing if Bastila hadn’t. Gwen laughed. “I took you out so I could make you feel better, not the other way around.”  
Bastila offered a rare smile. “Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Now, where exactly are you taking me?”  
“That would be telling.”  
Bastila made a face that Gwen had rarely seen before—she almost thought that Bastila was about to stick her tongue out at her. Perhaps laughing at Bastila’s face wasn’t the best idea, however, she realized as the other Jedi sped up.  
“We’re going here,” Gwen said, motioning towards another, different gate. Green foliage surrounded either side, though the darkness hid some of the color.   
“Is this a public place?”  
“Yes, yes, of course, I checked,” Gwen said, swinging the gate towards her.  
Juhani and Mission were already there, talking to a Rodian and handling some credits.   
“Hey, guys!” Mission said cheerfully when she noticed them. She had seen neither Bastila nor Gwen in a while, as the Council and other Jedi Masters were taking up most of their time during the day. At night, both were often exhausted. Gwen hadn’t even seen Carth in three days, and the Jedi ladies had only managed to grab a few lunches with Talin. Gwen considered the thought—perhaps it was the busyness that had prevented Talin and Bastila from interrupting her dreams again. She shook the thought out of her head, since, no matter the reason, she didn’t have to deal with the consequences.  
“It’s been a few days, Mission. How are you guys?” Gwen asked.  
“Pretty good. Thanks for coming up with this idea!” Mission said.  
“Yes, this should be very relaxing,” Juhani said.  
“Are you ever going to explain exactly where we are?” Bastila asked.  
“If you insist. We are an eco-zoo,” Gwen said.  
“So, after travelling the galaxy, you think that some exhibits with a bunch of planets represented would going to be interesting?” Bastila said.  
“I just thought it might help relax you. You know, the connection between all living things and the Force, stuff like that.”  
Bastila smiled. “Actually…you’re right. I don’t know why I ever doubt your decisions.”  
“My favorite one is this way, from the map,” Gwen said, without directly replying to the statement.  
“You aren’t taking us to see the one with all the gizka, are you?” Mission asked.   
She was—the trip to that exhibit was short. Bastila groaned.  
“I thought you would have seen enough of them already,” Juhani observed as Gwen stared in awe at the colony.  
“The keeper said that they weren’t actually supposed to colonize here—a few just got in, and rather took over the exhibit,” Gwen said cheerfully.  
“Naturally…are we going to the Hoth one or not? I’ve never actually seen those wild cats,” Bastila said.  
“I happen to like gizka,” Gwen said. While the others started to walk away, she remained, until Mission started to pull her away, towards Hoth.  
“How?” Mission asked. “They’re pests.”   
“They’re adorable! And they love attention. I had one on the ‘Hawk that would sleep at my feet and demand to be pet when I woke up.”  
“I’m worried about you,” Mission said. Gwen just laughed, though she grew bored of the Hoth exhibit far faster than the others, already inching towards Onderon’s wildlife.  
“I’m just glad it doesn’t get like that around here,” Juhani said.  
“Why, are you staying here long?” Bastila asked.  
“Yes. The Council wants me to stay here, to help observe and guide some of the younger apprentices and Padawans away from the Dark Side. There are so few of us left, now,” Juhani explained. “What about you two?”  
“Talin and I staying here, as well. I’m looking for a Padawan, and Talin is trying to pull something, I’m sure of it. I just don’t know what. Then there might be a few peace-keeping missions, once the Padawan issue is sorted out.” Bastila explained.  
Juhani nodded. “And Gwen?”  
“Actually, that’s why I’ve been so busy with the Council—there’s a few ideas floating around, so I don’t know whether I’ll be in the area or not,” Gwen explained.  
“Well, Zaalbar wants go back to Kashyyk, so I don’t know what I’m doing, either, if it makes you feel better,” Mission offered.  
Gwen smirked. “No, that gizka made me feel better.”  
The others laughed. “You have an unhealthy liking of those things,” Juhani said.  
“Bastila’s the one who wanted to see the cold, deadly planet,” Gwen observed.  
“Let’s give it to Gwen, that she can at least see the goodness in everything. Even pests,” Bastila said.  
At least Mission and Gwen found that humorous.

 

When they returned to the Jedi Temple, Carth and Talin were outside the gates, waiting for them.  
“Hey, guys,” Gwen said with a small smile.  
Carth reached out for a hug, remembered his place, and instead squeezed her shoulder quickly before letting go.  
“Where’ve you guys been?” Talin asked.  
“Gwen thought it would be nice to take me to a zoo,” Bastila said, though she started to walk away quickly with Talin.  
“Boring,” Talin said, after he apparently thought he was too far away for Gwen to hear. He was wrong.  
“It’s…uh, nice night,” Carth started awkwardly when they were alone. Gwen smiled, walking slowly with hi towards where the Ebon Hawk was docked.  
“I’ve been so busy, sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you,” she said.  
“It’s alright. After all the exploring around the galaxy, you really wanted to go to a zoo?”  
“I miss the gizka,” she admitted sheepishly.  
They walked in silence for another minute, but Gwen was so relaxed, she barely noticed.  
“Canderous expects Malak will wake up soon,” Carth said.  
“How is he doing?”  
“Better, now that we have supplies. You and him really went all out, I’m surprised you feel as well as you do.”  
“I haven’t exactly had a chance to rest.”  
“And I bet you won’t after this, too. Do you know what you’re doing next? Talin said that he and Bastila…”  
“Yeah, Bastila told me. I have a few options, but I rather wanted to talk to you first.”  
“I don’t think I have a lot of place to say what you should be doing. Especially if we aren’t supposed…”  
Gwen stopped walking with him. “The Ithorians in the Telos Restoration Project have requested Jedi assistance—dealing with conflicts with Czerka, and helping run the project.”  
“You would be on Telos?”  
She nodded. “And I wouldn’t be travelling very often, I would stay there.”  
Carth smiled, reaching his eyes. It was the happiest she had seen him in a rather long while. “I mean, I would still be travelling with the Republic, but I’ve got a lot of shore leave saved up…wait, what about your other choices?”  
“Staying on Coruscant, going with Master Zhar to Onderon, since there is apparently some trouble stirring up there, or going with another Master to Tython, where the Jedi Order started and trying to recover some lost history.”  
“So, unless you go to Telos, they’re treating you like a Padawan.”  
“I was only restored to Knight status yesterday, it’s understandable.”  
Carth frowned, apparently not accepting that as the reason that she was not fully trusted. “Well, I know you would probably want to go to Tython—it’s exactly the sort of thing you like.”  
“No. I want to go to Telos. I could make up for what I did in the Wars. And I could see you fairly often.”  
“I was hoping you would say that.”  
“Then, I’ll let the Council know in the morning. It’s late, I should head back to my room.”  
“Yeah, yeah I get it. And I’ll get to see you more soon, anyway. Night, beautiful.”  
“Good night, handsome,” she said, finally walking the other way to, towards the dormitories. She didn’t need much time to fall asleep once she returned to her room. Now that Carth had mentioned it, she remembered exactly how sore she was, and that made her all the more eager to fall asleep quickly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Revan was never treated like the other girls in the family. The family was old and prestigious and the ruling family on the planet. They were also very far removed from the royal line and were only moderately wealthy. The matriarch of the house, Charal, was adamant about restoring her branch of the family to power through marriage. Her eldest daughter, Anesa, seemed the most ideal bride, but her illegitimate pregnancy with Revan hindered such prospects. When she was three years old, she was beaten by Charal for calling Anesa ‘mama,’ and again a week later for the same offence. Eventually, she called the woman “Miss Anesa.” And she tried to be perfect. For her age, she did very well. But Revan could never be good enough for Charal. So, at four, she left the house, walked to the market, and got into a fight with a boy almost twice her age. He won, of course, but she did a little bit of damage. His name was Talin Hobaast, she found out the next day, and by the following week, they were the best of friends.

 

Talin and Revan got along fairly well, despite their age difference. Revan simply felt that Talin was a little too skinny for his age, and Talin, in turn, showed her the streets. She discovered the lives and cultures of many others—aliens, poor, middle class, farmers, whatever. She simply never realized the scope and depth of life. She began to live for the adventures they would have.  
Revan was rarely missed at her own house. Only Anesa ever noticed, but she could never really say anything. If she did, Charal would chide her.  
“That little brat has nothing to do with this family. If we’re lucky, the thing will manage to get herself killed or kidnapped or enslaved.”  
Anesa frowned and turned her head, wishing she would have fled the planet with Revan’s father. Charal would often purposely prevent Anesa from sending the girl to bed (in the tiny closet she was allotted). Anesa could only give Revan small smiles and the occasional candy after the beatings or shouts that would accompany Revan in the household. Anesa’s sisters and mother would always berate the girl, commenting on her size, her hair, her clothes, her false parenthood. Any sort of ammo was good enough for them. Anesa’s father seemed sympathetic to Revan as well, but no sort of charity was ever extended.  
Revan did not seem to mind much. She would put on a blank face while someone yelled, or sulk after a beating, but she was always thinking of seeing Talin later. Eventually, Revan started noticing a pattern—sometimes, bad things would happen to those who hurt. Sometimes they simply stopped moving for a few seconds. But it was always after the worst beatings.  
But with Talin, she had an escape. She had freedom. She didn’t need to worry about who was in the room with her, and instead she was only concerned with keeping his pace.  
On top of Talin’s rather small size, Revan also noticed he didn’t eat at home as much as she did. She started sneaking food at out of the kitchen, since the cook didn’t seem to mind too much. The first few times she tried to give him food, she would always forget—he changed the topic. But once, his stomach growled. Revan pulled the few biscuits from her pack and handed them to her friend.  
“Where did you get that?” Talin asked.  
“The cook gave me extra because I asked her to.”  
“No, I can’t take it.”  
“Why? You’re hungry.”  
“It’s just…we don’t take charity.”  
“This isn’t charity, its food. We’ll split it.”  
Revan later figured out that Talin would only eat food if she did too, but that was okay. At least she knew he was eating something.

 

After a few weeks, Revan followed Talin to his house, joking and laughing with him all the way. She had a few biscuits with her today, and even a few small pieces of flavored meat. When he led her to the shanty, however, she calmed slightly. She rather felt that she should be scared—the neighborhood was obviously run down, and the house was dark and seemed rather apt to fall down at any moment. Still, something told her that she didn’t need to fear.  
As Talin expected, his mother was passed out on the sofa, muttering nonsense. She normally was, especially after one of their many uncles came to visit, giving her funny pills that Talin wasn’t allowed to touch. Dirt and trash littered the floor, and a few credits on the table. She did not even acknowledge him.  
“Inyri?” Talin called.  
“Whose Inyri?” Revan asked.  
“My baby sister,” Talin said.  
A little girl appeared from the only other room. She was tiny, at least a year younger than Revan, but still far skinnier. She had hazelnut hair and sorrel skin. Her eyes were lighter, toffee, and she held on to a small, broken doll. She seemed to be dressed in rags. Though her hair was shoulder length, someone had pulled it into a bun for her. It obviously hadn’t been washed in several days.  
“Inyri, this is Revan. We’re going to have lunch with her.”  
Inyri remained silent, and looked down sheepishly.  
“Hey, Inyri, it’s alright, she’s my friend. You can talk to her.”  
The girl nodded, barely moving her head. She clutched the doll close to her chest, and joined the other children.  
“C’mon, we’ll eat outside,” Talin said, and eventually led the three back to a quiet spot outside the city, near a stream, where they three shared the food Revan had pocketed.  
Revan made sure to make a show of eating, but was careful to make sure the two siblings ate. She was more determined than ever to bring food from home for Talin. Just a few hours later, Inyri was determined to play with Revan. She picked up a stick, poking at the girl softly.  
“You’re an evil Sith and I’m going to defend the Empire!”  
“No-uh, I’m a Jedi!” Revan said with a laugh as she found a nearby stick.  
The boy laughed. “You girls are silly. Obviously, Inyri’d be the Sith.”  
Inyri fell into a pout.


	4. Awakenings

Military style reports on the status of rebuilding a planet were never particularly interesting, but Carth had to wonder if perhaps the Ithorians were actually trying to make him fall asleep. If it wasn’t for his natural interest in Telos, Carth would have trashed the datapad long ago. The report was old, anyway—he had managed to grab it before running to the escape pods on the Endar Spire.  
But he was otherwise out of anything to do. The Jedi were still with some master or another, and T3 had followed. Mission had guilt-tripped Zaalbar into going into the city with her, while Canderous and Jolee had not yet returned from the night before. Apparently, the two men had decided to find out exactly what sort of alcohols could be obtained in the capital of the Republic.  
That left Carth on Malak-watching duty. And Malak-watching duty was boring.  
He occasionally did open his eyes—the day before, Canderous had sedated him after he woke up agitated.  
“It’s not necessarily him. When you’re out as long as he’s been, most people do wake up like that. He’ll probably be up more tomorrow and more aware,” Canderous had said.  
Still, Carth rather hoped he wouldn’t. At least, not on his watch. As much as Gwen insisted that this was for the best, Carth wondered who it was the best for—for the galaxy? He certainly didn’t see it.  
On the other hand, he’d already followed her to the very edge. Babysitting an unconscious man for her could hardly be difficult.  
Except for the whole Sith Lord part.  
She said that she was certain he had turned away from the Dark Side, that he would wake up entirely changed. Carth knew better than to doubt her. He was truly trying to believe Gwen. But everything he knew about Malak went against her reassuring demeanor.  
Carth tried to continue reading the report, but every now and then he was reminded that the man responsible for the destruction of his homeworld was only a few feet from him, and in no position to resist anything.   
He was disgusted with himself the second he had the thought of how fragile Malak’s state was. Even ignoring Gwen’s wrath, he wouldn’t—couldn’t sink to that level.  
Instead, Carth sighed, setting the datapad down and leaving the room. There had to be something, anything else to read in this old ship. Even playing pazaak by himself would be better than this. There was, of course, HK-47, but the droid gave Carth the creeps.  
In the end, he found a datapad that he suspected belonged to Bastila, mostly because it was concerned with the practical applications of Battle Meditation, both in and outside of war. But he never got a chance to even start reading, because the sight of the med bay shocked him the second he entered.  
Malak was sitting up in the bed.  
“Where am I?” Malak asked, the harsh metallic voice contrasted with the simplicity, the innocence of the phrase. Carth dropped his datapad in shock.  
“You…uh, don’t remember?” Carth asked. “Wait, hold on a second,” he said. Carth pulled out his holoterminal, patching into Gwen’s frequency.  
“Who are you calling?”  
“I’m a little busy, Carth,” Gwen answered, between heavy breaths. She was apparently out of the range of distance of her receiver for video, but he could still hear her well enough. He could also hear the sounds of training sabers smashing against each other.  
“Revan?” Malak asked.  
“He’s awake. Thought you would want to know.”  
“I’ll be there in a few,” she said, cutting the link.  
“I know you, you’re Onasi,” Malak said once Carth put his holoterminal away.   
“Yeah, that’s right.”  
Malak glanced around the room again, eyebrow furrowed.   
“She saved me?” he asked after a moment.  
“Don’t ask me why. My whole life was on Telos, we have a girl on the ship who only ever knew Taris.”  
“Because she’s a Jedi. And an amazing woman,” Malak mused. “Is Revan alright? She was hurt.”  
“She healed fine. It’s been about two weeks since the Star Forge. We’re on Coruscant.”  
“Coruscant? So the Council knows?”  
“I guess so. I never get invited to their meetings.”  
Malak chuckled, a somewhat ghostly sound through his vocalizer. “I was only allowed once, and it was with Revan.”  
Carth laughed back for second, before he was swiftly pushed aside.  
“What the—” he started, glancing over to see who had so desperately needed in the medbay.  
“Listen here, dipshit,” Talin started. “She doesn’t remember shit. A few things here and there have popped up, but unless she mentions something specifically, don’t talk to her about it. Don’t tell her about the Wars, don’t tell her about your romantic crap, don’t tell her anything she doesn’t talk to you about first, alright?”  
“Romantic? Wait, you two…”  
“She’s going to be here in half a second, don’t say anything,” Talin interrupted. He glared at Malak, who simply nodded in response.  
Talin moved out of the way when he felt Gwen’s presence behind him, and she entered just in time to see Carth glaring at Malak. Malak still seemed rather confused, however, and leaned away from her as she entered.  
Malak had only really seen her briefly in years. Even before she was capture by the Jedi, the last few months had been so tumultuous between the two. And by that point, she was rarely seen without her mask. Since her redemption, he had met her twice, of course. Both times, however, she was always stressed and in a hurry to escape—whether from the Leviathin or the Star Forge.  
It sent a shiver down his spine to see her, without a lightsaber in hand. Without her raising her voice to him, without her constantly glancing around the room, scanning for even more trouble. He could sense her peace, the infallible Jedi calm surrounding her. Despite the sweat covering her brow, she still seemed more serene that she had in years.  
At first, she watched him, mouth open slightly, appraising him curiously. After a second, she gave him a small smile.  
“Thank you, Revan,” he said.  
She didn’t reply, merely nodding and glancing at Carth, then at Talin.  
Malak realized that he had absolutely nothing to say. Or at least, nothing he could put into words quite yet. And judging from her attitude, neither did she.  
It was a rare thing, when Revan knew neither what to do nor say.  
“The Council wants to talk to you. I think you should probably have a few more days to rest before that, though,” she said.   
“Just don’t talk to the Council yourself about him, then. Let me or Bastila talk.” Talin said.  
“Why?” Revan asked, genuinely surprised by the statement.  
“You are an awful liar,” Malak said.  
She flushed and rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone say that?”  
“Because we know you,” Talin replied cheerfully.  
Malak chuckled. Another rarity—statements Talin and Revan agreed on.

 

It was in fact a few days later that Gwen casually revealed one of the Masters that Malak was awake. Bastila and Talin were relieved when she decided it was time—until then, they took turns watching her carefully, certain that they would have to interrupt when Gwen let it slip. Perhaps it was their insistence that she couldn’t keep a secret, but she managed to surprise them. Gwen rather preferred to think that they simply underestimated her.  
She wasn’t shocked, then, when she returned to Ebon Hawk, and Malak wasn’t there. What did, in fact, shock her was that Carth wasn’t there.  
“He got a call, then hurried off to the space port,” Canderous said when she asked.  
Gwen frowned, but found an interesting historical datapad and a bench in a corridor that just so happened to be very close to the council chambers. She had managed to convince the master she was with that it was time for an afternoon off. Seeing as she had been sparring and training and otherwise proving her skill and commitment to the Light Side for the past three weeks, it was an easy argument. Bastila and Talin glared at her as walked out—they weren’t so lucky.  
It was just a few minutes after Gwen sat down that Malak left the chambers. She had just become enthralled in the work, so it took her a second to put down her datapad, but when she did, he was standing a few feet away from her.  
It was an odd thing, to see him out of his signature black apparel. Instead, he wore simple brown robes. With a small amount of hair growing that hid his tattoos, he only remotely stood out because of his height. And, obviously, the prosthetic jaw.  
“I just wanted to make sure everything went alright,” she explained quickly. She realized how ridiculous that sounded after a second, and she had to fight a blush. He was an adult—there was no reason that he couldn’t handle a council meeting.  
He raised an eye at her, but decided to ignore the blush. “It could have gone worse.”  
“But it could have gone better?”  
“Some of the Council—and many of the Republic Senators—want me to stand trial.”  
“That’s ridiculous, I never did. I don’t think, at least.”  
“No, you didn’t. That was Master Zhar’s argument. Not that I want my memory wiped, either.”  
Gwen shrugged. “I don’t really know the difference.”  
“Yes, but you’re remembering now, aren’t you? You’ll realize that your punishment was a crime, as well.”  
“I don’t see it that way,” Gwen said, though quieter than before. “What about the rest of the Council?”  
“Master Zhar and the others believe my redemption is possible through actions of the Light Side—serving the Jedi as always, perhaps in more serious locations.”  
“I can’t imagine Vrook would like that.”  
Malak laughed. “No, no he did not.”  
The pause that followed was awkward—Gwen realized that, once again, she had no idea what to talk about with him. And either he was an awkward and quiet person, or Talin had yelled at him. Or both.  
“So, where’s your man?” Malak asked after a moment.   
“Oh, Carth? I’m not quite sure, he wasn’t at the Ebon Hawk. Wait, how did you…”  
“The twi’lek loves to talk.”  
“Mission,” Gwen cursed. She finally stood up from her spot on the bench, starting to walk back towards the Ebon Hawk. Malak followed her closely.  
“So…what do you remember, then?” Malak asked.  
“I remember…bits and pieces of a few different things. I remember meeting Talin and Inyri and…” she paused. She carefully glossed over any mention of Malak when she talked about her new memories to Talin or Bastila. Gwen had a feeling that not all of her memories of Malak needed to be shared. “And that first lunch with you,” she finally said.   
Lunch was probably a sore subject for him, she realized after a second. Without a jaw, he couldn’t exactly eat normal food. Canderous had been giving him nutrient shots during the trip. Although Gwen hadn’t asked how he was eating, it was unlikely it was anything pleasant.  
The quick conversation and sudden silence didn’t sooth the awkwardness between them. The walk back was nearly silent, except for the occasional questions and very short answers. She asked once about his health, and another time, she apologized for fighting him on the Star Forge. In turn, Malak insisted that he was the one who instigated the fight, and asked a few questions—how she had met Jolee and where they found the twi’lek and the Wookie.  
Small talk seemed meaningless, but still, it wasn’t as if they had anything they could ask about. And if either of them had questions that would spark conversations and memories and potentially renew their friendship, they didn’t ask.

 

The second the two appeared in the courtyard, a small blue streak rushed towards them.  
“Mission, what is it?” Gwen asked, one hand on her lightsaber at her side, the other holding Mission’s shoulder.  
“You didn’t tell me!” Mission said, grinning but sweating from her sprint over.  
“I’m sorry?”  
“Dustil is here! And he’s super cute!”  
“Dustil?” Malak whispered to Gwen.  
“Carth’s son. And I don’t think I’m supposed to comment on how attractive my boyfriend’s teenage son is”  
Malak glanced away at the comment, but Gwen didn’t notice—she was too busy smirking at Mission’s excited chattering about exactly when Carth returned with Dustil, and how Dustil had actually smiled at her, if anyone could believe that, and how Talin had immediately dragged Dustil off somewhere, without even a word to Carth.  
“I hope he stays in Coruscant! Bastila says that, in a few weeks, we might be able to go ice skating! I wonder if he’s any good…”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Revan wasn’t going to question exactly how Talin, Inyri, and Alek managed to convince anyone that all the acolytes that were nearly Padawans should be permitted to visit Coruscant on a field trip.  
But she wasn’t going to question it—it had been almost six months since she had seen any of them, and despite promises that they would stay in touch, it was hard, especially since they were across the galaxy. Even when Revan was with her master and doing something easy and relaxing on a stable planet, she would more often than not call during the middle of the night.  
That meant a few hurried conversations between her, Talin, and Inyri, and, very occasionally, longer ones with Alek.  
As soon as Revan had heard they were coming—from a very exhausted Inyri, who had stayed up all night to tell her—she had talked to her master, and managed to secure free time during the week. So when the transport came, bearing those three, among others, Revan was waiting impatiently, leaning against a wall.  
Talin was the first off the transport, and Revan nearly tackled him. She felt another set of arms around her a second later.  
“Hey, Rev!” Inyri nearly yelled into her ear. When the two finally let go—and the teenagers finally had the good sense to move out of the way of the door—Alek emerged from the transport.  
He opened his arms, expecting a hug, but Revan just smiled and took a step back. Alek’s face dropped. As the group walked away, with Talin discussing his prospects for his first real Jedi Master, Revan whispered to him.  
“Later.”  
That seemed to cheer him up.

 

As it was, “later” was at an outdoor pond, where Revan brought them for ice skating.  
Alcina and Timmser, who had stayed behind in the transport, joined them for. Revan showed them a particular ice skating routine she and a local friend had been working on—a fairly complex series of spins and jumps. Alcina and Inyri started learning it with her immediately, but Talin, Alek, and Timmser were less into. Alek only came because of Revan, after all, having no love of the cold. Talin came for both Inyri and Revan—and to annoy Alek. Timmser just didn’t want to be left out.  
Within a few hours, Talin finally managed to work out most of routine, himself. He knew he would be sore tomorrow, but at least the girls were having fun, he supposed. Also, it meant that the girls would all demand to have him as their partner, since only he could do it.  
After Talin and Revan had two or three dramatic circuits, Alek decided to cut in.   
“Hey, Revan, go a round with me,” Alek said.  
Revan hesitated before she spoke. While Talin had been practicing, Alek often just joked with Revan. “If you want, but you have to be careful, the ice is thin on the other side.”   
“No worries, if Talin can do it, so can I.”  
Talin fumed but said nothing, instead showing Inyri how to tell the difference between ice thickness throughout the pond.  
“So, basically—” he said at his end of a lecture, before hearing a high-pitched scream.   
A hundred feet away, Revan looked horrified in front of her, though no one was there. Alek certainly wasn’t. It took Talin a second to realize that it wasn’t Revan who screamed—it was Alek, and he went through the ice.  
Revan acted without much though. She tore off her skates, heavy things, and pulled out her lightsaber. She dived into the hole in the ice Alek left behind, searching for him blindly through the ice, ignoring the bitter cold, the darkness, the fact that she could barely breath…  
She caught onto his shoulder, finally, and he grabbed her arm when she did. She sent a silent thanks to the Force that he was still even conscious—much better than dragging deadweight. She swam back up to the top, with the disoriented Alek behind her. Revan couldn’t find the hole again, but she did have her very new lightsaber. She ignited it, melting herself a new hole. As soon as she dropped her lightsaber on the other side, and put her hand down to pull herself up, Revan was pulled up by someone else.  
Inyri and Alcina each had a hand, and Talin and Timmser both had their outer tunics off already. When Alek was pulled out behind her, the girls rushed to pull of their soaking and freezing clothing.  
“Here, take these,” Inyri said, pulling Talin’s clothes over Revan. Revan nodded, too cold and disoriented too object.   
“Thanks,” Alek said through shivers.  
Revan’s heart was pumping too fast to respond, so she simply nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

Taking the shuttle down from Citadel Station was a longer trip than Gwen thought. Carth had fallen asleep at her side. She wasn’t surprised, as he had flown the eighteen hour trip from Coruscant the night before and hadn’t slept since. Still, Gwen enjoyed being left to her own thoughts. Perhaps that was why, when Carth had started to nod off against his shoulder, she had helped him along with the Force. Once he was snoring, Gwen glanced out the window, shocked at the desolation below.

It occurred to Gwen that she had somehow confused a planet that was destroyed with a planet that was wild and untainted with civilized life.

She remembered Revan, vaguely, infuriated with Malak. Not Alek. Alek was the boy who went ice skating with her, who led Republic troops to battle with her, who argued with Talin. And it was not Alek who bombed Telos. She wanted to meditate on that, if dissociating Alek with Malak and Gwen with Revan was a coping tactic, to avoid the horrors they inflicted on the galaxy.

And again, Gwen felt anger creeping up on her, as she worked out the differences between a planet decimated and a planet untamed. When Carth spoke of his home planet, he had described it as completely and utterly devastated. And in retrospect, Gwen had seen war before. She had seen the destructions the Mandalorians left. She had seen recorded images of herself at some of these places, even if she didn’t remember them yet. _And the destruction I have left_ , Gwen thought, but she shoved the thought of her mind. This is why she was going to Telos, after all. To clean up the mess Revan had left behind. Because even if she had told Malak not to bomb the planet, his fall was her fault in the first place. The bigger question was, of course, why she had fallen to begin with.

Bastila had suggested it was passion, an unhealthy protection of Alek and Inyri and Talin. But that didn’t stop the gnawing feeling that there was something more, something far more sinister than love of friends.

Or more than friends. Talin avoided the subject of the nature of her relationship with Malak. The day before they had left Coruscant, Gwen had dinner with Talin and Bastila. Talin had comment on the absence of both Carth and Malak—the former was with his son, that latter interrogated by the Council, again.

“I feel bad for him. He is in this mess because of my friendship,” Gwen commented. Talin burst out laughing, only to stop because of a dirty look from Bastila.

“Uh, yeah. Friendship sucks,” Talin had said. Gwen scowled. And Talin insisted she was a bad liar.

When the trip was over, Gwen gently shook Carth awake.

“Whaa---? Ugh, I didn’t mean to sleep.”

“You clearly needed it,” Gwen said, as she started picking out the safety suits from the cupboard.

Carth slowly stood and stretched. “Wait, you didn’t _make_ me sleep, did you?”

She turned to look at him with a small smirk, but he couldn’t see through the thick helmet that left only her eyes revealed.

“Most powerful Jedi ever. Uses her power to force a grown man to sleep,” Carth said grumpily.

“You were going to nap anyway, and this way, you will be more awake for the scouting.”

“You can’t—”

She shoved a helmet into his hands. “I didn’t know you would be mad. I was trying to help.”

His expression softened. “Alright, just…not again.”

She nodded, waiting by the door for Carth to put his suit on. When she felt him right behind her, she grabbed his hand. “Are you ready?” she asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

 

She had thought the planet would have been reclaimed by the wild. That without sentient life, the trees and plants would have grown, and that Telos would be beautiful, in a twisted way. A reminder that all dies, that great civilizations fall. But instead of buildings mostly standing with ivy weaving in and out, destruction coupled with creation, Telos was simply _gone_.

No buildings whatsoever stood. Everything was in shambles, and twisted metal littered the ground. At first, Gwen tried to avoid stepping on it, but she soon realized it would be more than a game of hopscotch. If she had wanted to avoid stepping on someone’s old home, the bones of the dead, she would have to use the Force and actually jump to the next empty space. But Carth couldn’t follow her, that way.

Still, the few months of scouting she had done before Bastila recruited her to the Endar Spire was coming in handy, and with some directions from Carth, she finally found his old home.

Not that they could tell, besides the tracking coordinates. Knowing that Carth had at least held his wife as she died was a quiet relief to Gwen. She didn’t have to worry so much when she stepped, because the only remains in his home were material. Morgana and Dustil were the only ones inside his home, Carth said. One was alive on Coruscant and the other buried on Tatooine.

“You don’t think there’s anything left, do you?” Carth asked quietly. It was the first words, outside directions, he had said since they left the cabin. Gwen had been worried. She had felt his irritation at her throughout the journey, but it quickly dissolved into nostalgia and grief once they neared.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “It might help. And even if not, it will give us an idea of what we need to do for the Restoration Project.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’ll only be a few feet away,” Gwen said, squeezing his shoulder tightly before letting go.

She glanced back—Carth was already pushing away the remnants of walls, searching for something, anything he could take back with him. As it was, he had nothing of his old life, and while he had finally come to terms with his past, he felt empty with no objects with which to reminisce.

And Gwen could sympathize.

She felt drawn to a nearby area, something she had imagined was once green, as there was not much destruction around. The plants that Gwen had thought would reclaim Telos were instead dead with it, either destroyed from the attack itself or starved for light when mushroom clouds suffocated the planet. Still, Gwen fancied that an old garden stood here, maybe a playground that Dustil had enjoyed.

An old datapad caught her eye. She was surprised that the thing even survived, let alone that she would find it in the wreckage. Gwen quickly bypassed the security on it. Someone had used it as a diary, it seemed. Someone with a husband at war, she gathered, and a young son and…

The realization that this was Morgana Onasi’s journal hit her like a rampaging bantha, and she nearly dropped the datapad. She shouldn’t read on, she knew. She looked up, finding Carth sorting through some refuse, desperate for something to have.

She almost called out to him, to tell him to stop, that they should continue scouting the area, that she found something for him. But instead, she let her eyes linger, and she scrolled down…

_I don’t know if I can continue_ , Morgana had written. Carth had mentioned that he had earned his wife’s ire by returning to navy. Whether he had known that she was considering leaving him…Gwen dropped the datapad, intending to step on it, but the thing cracked against metal.

She moved on, scouting the radius of the shuttle as quickly as possible before returning to Carth.

“I know, I know, we have to go, you don’t need to remind me,” Carth said. He stopped looking for a second, looking up at Gwen. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out. I just thought that there might be….I don’t know, something.”

Gwen bit her lip. “We have a few minutes before we should head back.”

They had ten minutes of oxygen left, give or take five minutes. But either could easily carry the other back to the ship, if necessary. Gwen chuckled at how calmly she considered oxygen deprivation.

Once Carth was engaged, she left, finding the old datapad. It was harder to bypass security now, some internal parts damaged. But she managed to access the journal, and at least parts of it were legible. Most words were in double, like Gwen was reading it after Talin served her a suspicious smelling drink. Others were covered in static.

Gwen took a few minutes to delete the last entry, a small miracle considering the damage she had inflicted to the datapad.

“Carth, I found something,” she called.

He jogged over, taking the datapad from her and recognizing it after reading for a few seconds.

“Thanks, gorgeous,” he said. He tossed it to the ground. “But I don’t think I need anything. I’ve got pictures and…I don’t want to be stuck in the past anymore.”

Gwen nodded, starting to walk back to the automated shuttle. Lightheadedness from so little oxygen was starting to sink in, but it just gave her a reason to lean again Carth.

A few minutes later, they were in the air, returning to Citadel Station.

“When you were on with the Council this morning, right after we arrived, I saw our new apartment,” Carth said.

“And?”

“Residential Module C3. It’s pretty nice.”

“But of course, the navy is sending you elsewhere. You won’t get to _appreciate_ it with me.”

Carth chuckled. “I have a few days first,” he said, before pulling her chin up to bring her lips against his. After he broke the kiss, a few seconds later, another memory resurfaced. And at least this one answered some questions.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

When Alek started laughing, she glared at him.

“That’s not ancient philosophy,” she chided.

They were lying on opposite ends of the couch in Revan’s room. She was on top of him, her feet just reaching his stomach. If a Master caught them, they would be scolded…but Revan always could tell when a Master was approaching.

He smirked at her, pulling out an ear bud he had managed to discretely put in.

“You caught me,” he said, pointing at the vid he had been watching on his datapad.

“So, tell me, what exactly did Master Rajivari say about justice?” she asked.

“She though that justice was an important role for Jedi, that we should protect it like knowledge as much as we can and distance true justice from passion.”

She chuckled.

“What?”

“First, Rajivari was a man. Second, if you had studied even at all, you would have known that we have no idea what Rajivari thought about _anything_. He fell to the Dark Side and a lot of his teachings were lost.”

“So…what you’re saying is I should study more.”

“Or not. I suppose you do have another year to find a Master. Too bad, though, if you don’t study, since Tal is trying very hard to do well enough that he is matched to a Master.”

She was getting under his skin by mentioning Talin, and she knew it. He nearly growled at her. She giggled in response and kicked at his chest gently.

“You could have just tried to give me motivation.”

“That _is_ my motivation.”

“Come on, Rev, you can do better than that.”

“I don’t know if I can,” she said demurely. He smacked her foot.

“Don’t you need a study break?”

“Wouldn’t you like that? Have you actually studied yet?”

“You know I hate this stuff, Rev.”

“Oh, boo hoo.”

He grabbed her foot, tickling her. “Hey, Alek,” she said through her laughter. “Stop that…no, really,” she said, pulling away and trying carefully to not kick him.

“As strong as you are in the Force, you’d think you would’ve figured out how to not be ticklish by now.”

“Alek!” she squealed, finally escaping his grasp and sitting up.

He was smirking, pulling his legs out from under her and laying them on top of her lap.

“Come here, Rev,” he whispered.

She glanced around nervously for a second, before she obliged, scooting next to him, her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and she blushed.

“Alek…”

“Someone coming?” he asked, an arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm gently.

“No, we’re alright.”

“Then why are you Alek-ing me?”

“Because I just read the part about ‘passion,’” she said.

“We’re not doing anything,” he murmured.

She sighed again, pulling her datapad up to her.

“The Masters thought that…” she read out loud.

He sighed. “I guess you’re going to make me study…you know I can’t ignore your voice.”

She giggled that time. “You have no shame,” she said, before continuing her reading.

When she finished the chapter, he pulled the datapad out of her hand, and began reading out loud to her. She nuzzled her head into his chest, slowly closing her eyes as she listened to him.

“And then the Masters…Hey, Revan, look who is slacking off now!”

“I’m awake,” she murmured back to him, wrapping her arm around him and squeezing tight.

“Uh huh. Anyway…” he continued the reading, passing the next chapter off to the reluctant Revan, who took the datapad only after she was coerced into sitting up.

Luckily, that was final chapter. She sat the datapad down on her lap when she finished.

“See, was that so hard?”

“I guess not. Hey, Rev?”

“Hmm?”

“Any Masters nearby?”

She closed her eyes and listened to the Force for a second.

“No,” she said.

“Good,” he replied, grabbing her chin and pulling her lips against his.

She responded with a gasp at first, but then relaxed against him, though she didn’t actually return the kiss.

He broke it off quickly, letting go of her chin to caress her cheek.

“We…”

“We’ll be alright. We’re both really good, we can stay on the right path,” he said. “If we support each other,” he finished.

“Talin won’t…”

“Talin doesn’t control your life. And like has any room to talk about the vows.”

She sighed again, trying to think but a little too tired to do so.

“Revan…I adore you. And I think…we can be something great,” he said. He brushed his lips against hers again, gently this time, nothing but a light touch. When he pulled away, it was barely a few centimeters away…

She hesitated, considering what his speech had meant. Alek was right—at least, when it was concerned with Talin. Her thought process was tangled, however. Talin had no right to say anything to her. He wasn’t even really related to her. And his actions with women certainly broke the vows time and time again. And Alek was really gorgeous…she moved a hand into his hair, pulling him back towards her lips, finally returning the kiss. She could feel him smiling, and that alone made her giggled.

“What’s so funny?”

“You.”

He shrugged, kissing her lips again and pushing her back against the sofa. The kisses were more passionate, now—his tongue was against her lips, begging for admittance, and she opened her mouth slightly for him after a second or so. His tongue explored her mouth—one of the few places he _didn’t_ know every inch of, playing tag with hers as he went. He had dreamed about this kiss for ages now, but he hadn’t expected the softness of her touch, the tenderness of her lips, the awkwardness of their noses bumping. He hadn’t given the latter a second thought, however, after she moaned lightly in his mouth. He pushed harder against her, anything to get closer to her. Her hand was twisted in his hair, a feeling that he hadn’t realized how much he needed. Her other hand was on his back, clutching him tightly. He was annoyed—he had to use one arm to support his weight, instead of touching her. Granted, she may be a great Jedi and all, but he was still a full foot taller than her. He could hardly put all his weight on her. Finally, she broke the kiss, gasping for breath into his shoulder, when she suddenly sat up, trying to scoot over to the other side of the bed.

The door opened a second later—Inyri walked in.

“Hey, Rev…are you alright?”

“Yes, quite fine,” Revan replied shakily.

Inyri eyed her suspiciously. “You’re the absolute worse liar. Would you mind studying elsewhere, I’m going to bed. I have combat training early,” she said, motioning towards Alek.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said, grabbing his datapad. “See ya, Rev,” he said with a smirk.

Inyri watched him leave.

“Talin won’t be happy,” she chimed at Revan.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Revan said, glancing down with a blush and a smile.

“Uh huh. I don’t even have to really say anything, you know that? I could just mention that, wow, it really is amazing how swollen your lips are after studying philosophy with Alek,” she said with a smirk.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Give me the gossip, and I won’t.”

“It’s…it’s nothing, really. It was just a kiss.”

“A kiss? Just _a_ kiss?”

Her blush gave her away.

“Alright, a few kisses. Please don’t mention it to Tal, I want to tell him myself.”

“Fine. Just…be careful, Revan.”

“I’m always careful.”

“I know. But Alek isn’t. And you don’t always think right around him.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but after considering for a second, she stopped. “Aren’t you going to bed?”

“Yes, and you are, too. You have that big exam tomorrow.”

Revan scoffed. “It’s not that big—” she said, before realizing what she had said.

“This is one of the big ones before you find out if…you were matched, already?” she asked, understanding slowly hitting her.

Revan nodded. “Master Kae. And…don’t tell Talin. Or Alek. Or anyone at all.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Two weeks from now.”

“They won’t be gone for another month or two…”

“I know. I was matched two months ago.”

“Revan!”

“I know!”

“Force, we underestimate your lying abilities.”

“That’s because I just failed to mention it,” she said with a blush.

“You’re horrible,” she said with a smirk, pulling off her robe to change. Revan stood and followed the suit.

“I love you, too, Iny.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

_Across the Galaxy, Present Day_

 “Hey there, sweetheart. How you doin’?”

Inyri glanced over at the bar stool next to her. Figures. Only other human in the whole damned cantina, and he slinks right next to her.

She wanted to groan. Men always figured that, just because she was alone, sipping on a cocktail, she must want some company.

“I was doing pretty good. Then some skeezeball wandered over and now all I can smell is body odor.”

The man scoffed at her. “I just wanted to talk, you little…”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I look like I wanted to talk?”

He grumbled at her, waiting for the bartender to finish pouring his drink and immediately sulking over to the other side of the cantina.

A light green twi’lek woman took his spot. “Humans, huh?”

“I’m a human.”

“You’re different,” she said. “You have enough of this place? We can go,” the twi’lek said.

Inyri sighed internally. She hadn’t meant for anyone to think she was actually staying on this planet long. Hell, it’d already been a month straight. She never stayed anywhere that long. It was too boring. She was too anxious. Someone could see her, recognize her. Someone could know.

“En’la…” Inyri started. She stiffened. There was a hand, holding her shoulder tight.

“Oh, so you’re not looking for company? You dirty whore.” Definitely the same man from before. The same smell—only this time, with far more Huttesian whiskey.

“You’re drunk. Get out,” Inyri said, without even turning around.

“I don’t think so,” the man said, his speech just slightly slurred.

Inyri shook him off her shoulder, turning to face him.

“I said, you want to leave.”

Years ago, that phrase might have had impact. Instead, the man swung at her.

She saw him coming. He was slow and intoxicated and his movements were obvious. But she couldn’t quite move away fast enough, and his punch grazed her lower jaw.

En’la gasped, standing from her stool and starting to pull Inyri’s arm. Inyri twisted out of her easily, rubbing the sore spot gently.

“You bastard,” she said, as calmly as she could muster.

She wasn’t as fast as she had been before, certainly, but she was fast and strong enough to take down one drunken idiot. She grabbed his shoulders, slamming him into the bar, hard. He coughed a few times, and the bartender behind him started muttering into a holocom.

Inyri ignored the bartender, instead taunting the man.

“Inyri, what are you doing?!” En’la yelled, trying to move her away from the man once again. Inyri just ignored her, too.

The man growled at them, standing and charging towards them. Inyri easily moved out of the way, and this time, she pulled En’la with her. The man flung past them, into a crowd of a few aliens—a few big ones, the mercenary types. And apparently drunk mercenary types.

Two turned on the human--the third, a Trandoshan, turned on Inyri.

He snarled at her, rushing her with a vibrosword. Inyri braced herself, kicking him in between the legs as he neared and using all her weight to tackle him to the ground when he was distracted.

He rolled her over, so he was on top of her, but the alien had to drop his sword to do so. And even though his hands were reaching for an empty bottle nearby, and even though Inyri could her En’la yelling for everyone to stop, Inyri smirked.

For the first time, she felt alive. How did she not think of a bar fight before?

It’s what Talin would have done.

It was a treacherous thought. Inyri cursed herself the second it crossed her mind. Typical asshole brain. If there was one person she didn’t want to think about, it was Talin. Or maybe worse, Revan.

No, Talin. Talin was worse, she decided.

The milliseconds she wasted considering her hatred for the two cost her. The Trandoshan had time to grab the bottle and was raising it over her head. She barely evaded the glass, but it shattered next, fragments scattering and a few scratching her face.

It was a blur after that. Inryi flipped him with a little struggle. Three aliens were fighting around her. The man who started it all was flailing against a little rodian, but the rodian was holding his own. She tapped him on the shoulder, a cocky grin on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she said as he turned to face him.

The punch was meant for his stomach. She wanted to watch him collapse. Maybe throw up a bit. It would be funny, to watch him fail after he pissed her off. She so rarely got the opportunity to feel, any emotion really. Anger to victory would be amazing.

But he moved in a way she didn’t quite expect. The second her punch connected, she knew she had missed his stomach but hit his spleen. He dropped to the floor.

“Shit,” she muttered.

She didn’t have time to react, however. Another man grabbed around her arms, holding her back. Inyri slammed her head against his, and he dropped her.

And as quick as it started, the fight was over. Local police flooded the bar, pulling combatants and bystanders alike out of the bar, away from each other. Inyri felt, for the first time, warm liquid running down her face, and she realized it was it was blood. The shattered glass hit her harder than she had thought. Still, she was left alone by the officers—apparently she didn’t seem like a big enough threat.

“The human dead,” she heard one of the police say to another.

Inyri balled her hands into a fist. Stupid. So stupid.

En’la found her after that.

“You killed him,” she said quietly. “I saw...I tried to stop you, when it started but…”

“I didn’t mean to kill him! If he had just stayed still!”

“You punched a man, and he died,” she murmured.

“It’s not my fault he moved his spleen into my punch!”

“How did you know that?” En’la asked.

“Know what?”

“That it was his spleen, they didn’t say that.”

“It’s basic anatomy, I mean,” Inyri said.

“You just killed a man...and you don’t even care.”

“I do too care! Don’t tell me what I care and don’t care about!” Inyri yelled.

“You’re scaring me.”

“Fine! I should! I’m a scary person!”

“I think...you should get your things out of my apartment.”

“I am! I’m done with this stupid planet, anyway!” Inyri said, turning and walking away without even a concern for the medic trailing behind her.

She was at the spaceport less than an hour later, waiting for the next shuttle to leave. She didn’t care where. She just had to move. After all, it was part of her plan anyway to leave.

What she didn’t understand, though, was why everything was so awful.

Must be the cantina, she thought. He likes cantinas…

And then it was maybe it’s for scaring En’la.

But she hadn’t really liked En’la much, anyway. The girl wasn’t exciting enough for her.

It wasn’t that guy, she told herself. He deserved it anyway.

As if she hadn’t seen enough death already. But she didn’t have much longer to think about it. The shuttle left within three minutes, and she was asleep in another two.


End file.
